“Going forward” has been discontinued

The Datadoodle vice president of diction has issued an order.

Actually, he’s fed up. The other day in the break room, he was seen holding his head in his hands as if it were about to burst from the absorbed vacuity. It’s an occupational hazard: Every day, he absorbs words and expressions that have no other function than to impress or obfuscate. But we digress.

The order: He has prohibited use of “going forward,” effective now.

The expression “going forward” shall be discontinued immediately. It is meaningless. Urban Dictionary, an acknowledged authority, provides background.

Going forward is purported to mean, “In the future” or “somewhere down the road” when in fact it is an attempt to dodge the use of these words, which generally indicate “I don’t know”. [sic] A newer development in corporate doublespeak, in most companies it is grounds for dismissal to release a press release without mentioning something ‘going forward’. [sic] Going forward, you will likely see this turning up everywhere.

Examples: “Our company expects to make a profit going forward” and
“We don’t expect any layoffs going forward.”

The only exceptions shall be on mugs and shirts. Click here.

Leave a reply

Other recent posts

End of one-size-fits-all data stories

This appeared originally on the TDWI site in September behind a paywall. It’s still there, but today they’ve had the 90 days of exclusive use that I agreed to. Survey after survey reveals that about 80 percent of business users don’t use data analysis—despite all the marketing and “easy to use” tools. As if in… Continue Reading

Qlik finally set to leapfrog Tableau?

Who’s your rival? I carelessly asked a Qlik person at the company’s annual analyst reception Monday night in Miami if she hadn’t once worked for Tableau. Her revulsion was immediate. “No! Never!,” she said. We smiled. There was so much more to talk about. For one thing, how will private equity change things? Qlik wasn’t… Continue Reading

Five Tips for Better Data Stories

Originally published on September 22, 2015 in BI This Week, a TDWI publication. A “data story” sounds like such a great idea. You just mix data with storytelling and you’re done — except that most data storytellers get one thing wrong: they drown out the story with data. Such storytellers, I believe, assume that audiences… Continue Reading

Bohemian Grove a la BI

The Bohemian Grove of the BI industry convenes for the fifteenth time in just three weeks. Naturally, you ask the obvious question: Are you serious? The Grove? A summit? The answer begins with a fond recollection of the Grove. If you’ve never attended the Bohemian Grove yourself — I haven’t, though I live in the… Continue Reading