“Going forward” has been discontinued

The Datadoodle vice president of diction has issued an order.

Actually, he’s fed up. The other day in the break room, he was seen holding his head in his hands as if it were about to burst from the absorbed vacuity. It’s an occupational hazard: Every day, he absorbs words and expressions that have no other function than to impress or obfuscate. But we digress.

The order: He has prohibited use of “going forward,” effective now.

The expression “going forward” shall be discontinued immediately. It is meaningless. Urban Dictionary, an acknowledged authority, provides background.

Going forward is purported to mean, “In the future” or “somewhere down the road” when in fact it is an attempt to dodge the use of these words, which generally indicate “I don’t know”. [sic] A newer development in corporate doublespeak, in most companies it is grounds for dismissal to release a press release without mentioning something ‘going forward’. [sic] Going forward, you will likely see this turning up everywhere.

Examples: “Our company expects to make a profit going forward” and
“We don’t expect any layoffs going forward.”

The only exceptions shall be on mugs and shirts. Click here.

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